Wednesday 12 December 2012

Capturing The Beauty of My Jewelry: Lessons Learnt

Whenever I finish any piece of jewelry, I'm always happy and amazed at the sheer beauty! The colours, the feel, the design and the over all look makes me smile and fulfilled. Sometimes, they look so beautiful, I wonder how to transfer this from reality to pictures for my website and social network page.

Fulfill Jewelry
This was a big challenge for me sometimes ago. This is why I have decided to share my journey of photography...transferring beauty from reality to pictures.  Still improving and learning, but have also improved quite well considering the fact that I didn't train or attend any photography class.

The first camera I really ever used for my jewelries was a Nikon D 60 digital camera. My husband bought it on one of his numerous trips. It is an expensive camera and a bit big for me to handle.

Another thing, there were so many features to learn and understand. I'm not a photographer! I just want to get good pictures of my jewelries for upload! The early pictures I took with is camera were terrible! They were blurry, dark and ugly no thanks to the many features I had to learn and adjust.

Lesson 1:  Get a camera that is portable with high mega pixel, with simple features/setting and more importantly affordable. You don't have to break the bank because of a camera. I came to know from experience, that I don't really need a professional or expensive camera to get excellent results.

When I finish any piece of jewelry, I always take the photograph before delivery. However, I noticed any picture I took in the evening do not really capture the piece as it is. The colours, the brilliance and the entire beauty of the jewelry is understated and sometimes even ugly!

I struggled with this for a while and tried lighting up the room (still learning about it), used the flash in the camera, changed the settings...the outcome did not give me satisfaction. So I changed my strategy...
Fulfill Jewelry

Lesson 2: Take your pictures during the day when the sun is out. Anytime I finish a piece of jewelry in the evening or night, I wait till morning to take the pictures. And do you know the result? Stunning beautiful pictures!

After capturing your jewelries, you need to prepare for upload. You need a computer or laptop to transfer these pictures. So what next? You edit them. How? I use Picasa to edit my pictures.
It's free and the quality is perfect.

Lesson 3: If you have to edit your pictures for free, then use Picasa. Just download into your computer or laptop for free and you are ready to go!

Finally, know that "Rome wasn't built in a day".So you need to learn and get better at doing this. You have to be patient with yourself and your camera.

Lesson 4: Be patient, practice and you would get better and get it right.

It's been a wonderful journey because, I can get to capture the same beauty of my jewelries into pictures without feeling less happy with the result.
                             
                                      Beautiful Jewelries + Camera = Beautiful Pictures
I can't ask for more!

Let me know the outcome of your experience and possibly, share any new tips.

Interested in my jewelries?  Please check out:   http://fulfilljewelry.com/
https://www.facebook.com/FulfillJewelry

"For God giveth to a man that is good in his sight wisdom and knowledge"- Eccl. 2:26

"People never learn anything by being told, they have to find out for themselves" - Paulo Coelho

                                                           Linda Aliogo

Tuesday 4 December 2012

Being Passionate About What You Do

As I yawned away tiredly, I knew I had worked hard today. I have been making jewelries since 12 noon. And its already past 7 pm. I told myself I had to pack up and close for the day.

I got ready to exercise. As this is essential for this type of job where you get to sit for several hours in a spot, only using your hands! I yawned once more and I looked at the table. The display of jewelries I just completed made me smile. I felt good inside. I felt happy and fulfilled!

The best of that night was when my teenage son walked in and screamed "Waoh! mummy, which of these is mine?"
"They are so beautiful! "  His statement crowned it all and I felt so good for the time spent in creating these jewelries. This is just a typical day though the time may vary. Sometimes, I have to do school runs and of course family related activities.

This is simply because I love what I do! No matter how many hours spent, the mistakes, the challenges, I still get fulfilled immediately I'm done! I still smile even with the aches and pains.. I simply just love what I do! And I'm grateful to God for this!

Fulfill Jewelry
Sometimes, its even difficult to express myself when I finish certain pieces. I wonder how I made such! It's so much work (you may not realize it) but at the end of the day, even when I'm dog tired, I still manage to have a big smile and satisfaction only my job gives me. I know this what I want to do. It is my call. It is my business. It's my job and I love it. It's not about the money but about the fulfillment I derive from it. It even feels better when I hear complements about any of my piece. This encourages me to improve and get better in what I love doing.

As we know, our jobs take up a substantial part of our lives. We spent a lot of time there hence the need to really love and enjoy what we do.

I'm thankful to God again because there are a lot of people who just work to pay bills and not because they LOVE their jobs. There are a lot of people who are yet to find their purpose- that job, business or career that give them such fulfillment. They are still searching...

I know I'm lucky to have found what I'm passionate about; to be my job, business or whatever you wish to call it...designing and making beautiful jewelries.

For those of you out there still searching for that right business or job, I just want you to keep looking and don't give up. You would definitely find it sooner than expected. Pray about it and you would find it.

Just to apologize for not writing for a while...Thanks.

"Commit your work to the LORD, and then your plans will succeed" -Prov.16:3

"Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle" - Steve Jobs

Linda Aliogo

Tuesday 23 October 2012

My Tea and My Hair

I never thought in my wildest dreams that there is a relationship between my cup of tea and my hair! I mean, why would my thoughts even go there.. This I discovered when I was checking other things in the internet.  It was a good discovery but, then I wasn't  keen on giving it much thoughts or even trying it out. It wasn't my focus then.

So when it became my focus, I decided to embark on this journey of treating  my hair with tea. Well, its actually rinsing...rinsing my hair with tea! I actually tried out Assam tea as I have many types of tea at home -Green, Assam  regular Lipton  and others.

I tried it and guess what? I loved it! I loved the outcome of my hair and I would do it again and again!

I soaked about 6-8 bags of tea with 1.5litres of boiled water over night. I got ready and headed to my stylist. He was skeptical about trying out this treatment, this rinse. He told me, he had never heard about the rinse but if I am willing to use it then, he is willing to apply it.

Here I was, with my tea waiting to try out my discovery. I gave him the instructions on how to apply the tea. I went through my styling routine and behold when I was done, my hair was AMAZING!!  :)  Dark, shiny and very smooth. It even looked better than what you see on most hair products adverts. I was so excited and I was just proud of myself for taking that step!

That has been over 8 months ago and I have continually rinsed my hair with tea. It has remained, dark,with some highlights, shiny, strong, no breakage, dandrruff and itch- free.

It worked for me, that is why I decided to talk about it. I waited all this while to be sure of the effect on my hair. And I would say, I am very satisfied.

This is what you do..

Bring your water to a boil and add 6-8 bags of any tea. I use assam tea and it worked for me but, you can actually use any tea. The number of bags depend on your hair length  I have a long mane so I used about 6-8 bags but, if your hair is short, you can reduce the number of tea bags

You can go to your stylist or even try it out at home. Just  shampoo hair and rinse. Pour the tea  into hair and massage thoroughly to the tips. Wait for 30minutes before applying conditioner. After 30minutes, apply your conditioner and wait for another 30mins or you can even use the steamer if your conditioner is for deep conditioning. Then rinse and style as desired.

Let me know the type of tea you used and  if it worked for you.

Thanks.

"But if a woman has long hair, it is her glory; for her hair is given to her for a covering- 2nd Cor.11;15

"The hair is the richest ornament of women"- Martin Luther

                                   Linda Aliogo

Thursday 11 October 2012

Oh Happiness!

Many a time, people think that when they are wealthy, healthy or achieve a particular milestone in their lives, then they are or can be happy.

But do you know what?

Immediately such goals are attained, they set new ones then move to the next goal they have set for themselves. They are anxious to met this new goal hence, its pursued with so much vigour! It looks like the previous achievement does not mean anything to them anymore!

 Some may say that's being ambitious. If that is the case, so where do you draw the line between ambition and happiness. Or perhaps,  in the quest of even understanding happiness and what exactly it means to us at different stages and times of our lives.

My thoughts in this poem...

We seek you in different ways
We hope to have you
We reach out for you
Oh happiness!

We seek you in our beliefs
We reach out for you in our thoughts
We look for you in our dreams
We yearn for you every stage of our lives
Oh happiness!

We put so much hope in you
We have so much faith in you
We have so much expectations from you
Oh happiness!

Who really are you 
Where are you
Are you real or not
Oh happiness!

Can we ever find you
Can we ever understand you
Can we ever be satisfied by you
Oh happiness!

Thanks.

"For He satisfieth the longing soul, and filleth the hungry soul with goodness"-Ps. 107: 9

"Indeed, man wishes to be happy even when he so lives as to make happiness impossible"- Augustine
                                         Linda Aliogo


Friday 21 September 2012

Sterling Silver vs Silver Plated Jewelry

Fulfill Jewelry
In your collection of jewelries, you must have come across so many types- gold plated,karat-gold, silver, sterling silver and even fine silver! 

You may have wondered about all these names and labels. You may have also been confused! Trying to figure out the difference between them especially those that share some similarities in their names.

For instance, a jewelry labelled fine silver, sterling silver or silver plated are different from one another. This tells you about the quantity of pure silver in them. This equally also helps to determine the price of the jewelries. 

So here is the difference...

Pure silver is also known as Fine silver as it is 99.9% pure silver. It is very soft hence cannot be used alone for any purpose especially for jewelries.

However, Sterling silver is an alloy of silver. This means it contains another metal  which is often copper. Here, copper is added to pure or fine silver which now makes it hard enough to be used for  so many things including jewelries. Sterling silver contains 92.5% pure silver and 7.5% copper. Copper is used most times because of its inexpensive nature and its ability to harden the silver.

Sterling silver jewelry usually comes with ".925 sterling" marking. This tells you there is 92.5% of pure silver in the jewelry.

How about Silver plated?

Silver plated is made up of a metal that has been coated with a thin layer of silver, usually sterling silver. This is accomplished by a process of electroplating. Silver plated jewelries do not have the ".925 sterling" marking.

Silver plated jewelries do not have any second hand value as the thickest plate is about 0.020mm (8/1000th of an inch) thick and companies won't buy them because of the expensive process of reclaiming just that little quantity of silver. So its not just cost-effective.

Be it sterling silver or silver plated, any of these jewelries would tarnish over time although, silver plated is a lot faster to go through this process. This happens when they come in contact with air and the alloy metal attracts the tarnish. 

So next time you are buying your silver jewelries, you can actually tell now the difference.

If this is helpful, then  please tell someone about it or even share.

Thanks.

"Jewelry takes people's mind off your wrinkles"- Sonja Harie

                                 Linda Aliogo

Sunday 16 September 2012

Labels And Names In Jewelry

Fulfill Jewelry
Any time you are picking your jewelry, it is necessary to check out the labels. These labels tell you more about the jewelry. Some of them have numbers written on them like that of karat-gold. The numbers in karat-gold could be 9, 10,14, 18 or 24 as each number tells about the amount of gold in the jewelry. The higher the number, the more gold you have in the jewelry.

This is similar with silver jewelries as the labels or names attached to these jewelries mean different things. Some labels could read silver plated, fine silver or sterling silver.. Each of these names mean different things. Sterling silver is almost pure silver as the content of  sterling silver is over 90% ( precisely 92.7%).  Pure silver is also called fine silver while silver plated has very little or thin layer of sterling silver just coated on another metal.

The labels give you an idea of how long the jewelry can be worn before any form of tarnish becomes noticeable for those that have such characteristics.It also helps to know how to wear and care for them in order to get the best out of them. The labels also informs you of their value, as some can be sold after use. In other words, they have second-hand value.

So any time you go shopping for your jewelries, remember to read the labels, ask questions and get informed before purchase.

Thanks.

"Let's not be too particular. It is better to have old second hand diamonds than none at all"- Mark Twain
                                                  Linda Aliogo

Saturday 1 September 2012

Drug And Alcohol Addiction: What Every Parent Should Do

We always hear about a celebrity passing or wasting away due to one form of addiction or the other. My kids and I were particularly saddened about the death of this celebrity. She was young and hugely talented! She was a true legend as we get to enjoy her songs anytime it’s played. We also loved most of her chart buster movies that are timeless.

What a waste!  What an untimely death!

I began to wonder…how many people are dying this moment because of drug and alcohol addiction? How many people are struggling with this problem? How many people would still go this way?

With these thoughts, I decided to share this with you. The need to start talking, if we are not already doing so The need to talk more if we are not talking enough. The need to start talking to our children about this, because they say “charity begins at home”.

We have children, cousins, nieces, nephews and they see and hear about these celebrities and their struggles. They equally hear about their deaths caused by these drugs and alcohol addictions.

We need to start discussing addictions with them. Our children should be informed and know the meaning, causes, dangers and effects of drugs and alcohol use. They should know why these substances should be avoided!

So, what is addiction? 

Simply put, addiction is the condition of taking harmful drugs and being unable to stop taking them while an addict is a person who takes harmful drugs and cannot stop taking them.

In discussing with our children, they should know that these drugs are not meant to be played with! They are not to be ‘experimented’ with. They should know they don’t have to ‘belong’ to any group for them to be complete of fulfilled. We should let them know and understand the need to be comfortable in their skin. Check out my previous post on this.

We should tell them they are beautifully and wonderfully made. The reason is simply because some kids suffer from body insecurity. They don’t like their body. They think they are not good enough, beautiful enough or sporty enough.

As parents or guardians, let’s reassure them and make them realize they can’t be the “best” in every aspect of life. They are areas of strength and equally areas of weakness. And that its perfectly fine and ‘normal’.

Watch out if your children are bullied in school or anywhere else. This can make them seek comfort in drugs or alcohol. Bully should be discouraged and reported in  the school. At home, it should also be discouraged. Every child is different and so no one has the right to demean or make fun of the other.

Know their friends. Encourage your children to bring their friends home. This way, you get to meet them, interact with them briefly and study their behavior. As parents, you have instincts…trust your instincts when they speak.

Any of their friends you don’t approve of, dig in and investigate about that person. Encourage discussion and ask questions about that friend. Talk to your child about that friend and make your decision.

Both of you may not be the best of friends after that decision, but trust me, that is why we are the PARENTS. You give the rules and they follow. In the long run, it’s for their good.

We should always encourage discussion around drugs and alcohol. Let them speak and you LISTEN. We should correct any wrong impression or answers while the discussion is on.

As parents, we should show good examples. We should practice what we preach. We can’t tell them to stay away from drugs and alcohol when we use them. It won’t work.


Watch out and pay close attention to your kids and act fast if you do notice any or most of these symptoms; aggression, physical changes, alcohol or drug smell, drunkenness, mood swings, risky behavior, resentful attitudes, weight gain/loss or nervous twitches and ticks.

Note all these maybe NOT be related to drugs or alcohol addictions. You should know your children, if you notice a great change in behavior with some of the above symptoms then, you should act fast!

If this is helpful, why don’t you tell somebody about this blog.

Thanks for your time.

" I lift up my eyes to the hills..where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord the Maker of heaven and earth"-Ps. 121:1-2

"There are no secret to success. It  is the result of preparation, hard work, learning from failure"-Collin Powell

                                                                      Linda Aliogo 

Sunday 26 August 2012

Rebirth Of Old Jewelries


Old jewelries can be boring and dull. Looking at them could be unpleasant as you maybe clueless as to what and how to use them. Maybe you have thought about giving them out or even selling them; if only they have second hand value.

Some of these old jewelries maybe highly valuable if they do have considerable high level of gold. Others may not worth much. 

 If you are considering the trends, these jewelries may not still be hot. But these are jewelries you love, you have an emotional attachment to- perhaps it was given to you by a loved one which you intend to keep for a long time. Jewelries you have worn over and over again simply because you love them. Even jewelries that looking boring and old that you don’t know what to do with them.

But wait...before you take any  harsh decision, have you thought about rebirth?

Yes, rebirth, bringing these old jewelries back to life again!  Making  them trendy and usable again!

Bringing back to life old jewelries is easy! Spending a fraction of money and being creative is key to rebirth of these jewelries. This is what you do. They can be re designed and created into more trendy and timeless pieces especially the beaded ones. This is by adding beading or jewelry accessories that make them look and feel new and trendy or timeless!

Another way is putting together both old and trendy jewelry pieces together with your outfit. I mean, mix and match old and new designs. This would give a vintage feel without necessarily making your look old or boring. It gives you an edge and makes you stand out in a crowd!

For those who are vintage-minded, this could be an avenue to share your story behind such a piece! As you know, people are always interested and fascinated  by vintage collections.

So when next you pull out those old jewelries, do not consider them as useless rather, apply the tips mentioned and bring them back to life. This helps you to preserve those jewelries that you love and hopefully pass  them down to the next generation.

 Enjoy J

Tell someone about this blog, thanks.

"Collect as precious pearls the words of the wise and virtuous"- Abd-el-kadar

                                                 Linda Aliogo


Tuesday 21 August 2012

The Power Of Thinking: My Answer

“If I ‘m in control of my 24hours once yearly, what would I do or achieve?”

This question popped out from my head one evening when I was jogging. I stopped jogging and started walking in other to think. I kept thinking through out my work-out time, the following days and some weeks that followed. I could not come up with a satisfactory answer.
Then one evening, it happened!  I got an answer, a satisfactory one. My answer…

Well, here it is; I would work on the power outages, fix the dams, supply gases, install and repair infrastructures that would ensure constant and stable power supply!

Since I am a ‘super woman’ for 24 hours, it means everything I want can be done with the speed of light. I also thought if I’m that powerful, I could even extend the 24 hours until every problem in our power sector is readily solved and we can enjoy uninterrupted power supply in the country.

When these thoughts came to me, I smiled and felt good inside. I felt happy and satisfied. However, just like being a ‘superwoman’ is not realistic, so sadly being able to achieve my dream is unrealistic.

But this question gave me something- the power to think and solve challenges. I would have loved to live in a country where we can boast of constant power. A country where so many things would fall in place if we can have uninterrupted power.

As we all know, with constant power, there would be more jobs, less use of generators, less pollution (noise and air), less stress as the standard of living would improve while the cost of living would reduce. This would  improve the life expectancy of our dear country which is about 49 years for the men  and 55 years for women at the moment. The lowest in the West Africa region.

This would have been my dream, my solution and my achievements if I was a ‘superwoman’.

What would have been your own answer?

“When you have control over your thoughts, you have control over your life”-Remez Sasson

“HE give power to the faint, and to them that have no might, He increaseth strength”- Isaiah 40:29

                                                               
                                      Linda Aliogo

Wednesday 8 August 2012

12 Lessons I Have Learned In Marriage

Marriage is an institution where two persons agree to share their lives together…hopefully forever.  Being married for a while now, these are lessons I have learned so far in this journey.
#1
I have come to learn that marriage is a journey that requires a lot of patience…lots of it! The older the marriage, the more patient you become. Not born with this- patience, but it one thing I have come to know you cannot do without.
#2
I have come to learn to give and let go… As a single person, there were certain beliefs and ideas I lived with. But with marriage, I have to come to realize that things did not fit into my marriage, I had to take the ultimate decision of letting them go. The picture of my marriage as a single person does not necessarily agree with my reality, now that I am married, they are quite different.
#3
I have come to learn that I have my roles- wife and mother. These roles are tasking and serious if you really want to be successful.
#4
I have come to learn you cannot have your way all the time… Sometimes, you need to be silent to achieve your result. You need to let him lead the way for you to finally get your way.
#5
I have to learn and know proving your points all the time does not do much. Rather, it leads to complications, lots of argument and waste of energy and time.
#6
I have come to learn and know that appearance matters, food matters and sex. Make effort in these three areas.
#7
I have come to learn and know that prayer is essential and it works! Pray about anything and everything and you would notice changes.
#8
I have come to learn and know he is also my son and not only a husband and a father.
#9
I have come to learn and know every marriage is unique; hence what works for me may not be acceptable in another marriage. I realized that based on this, you cannot necessarily judge but respect that marriage. Also try to learn something.
#10
I have come to know that you cannot lean only on your understanding. You have to listen to people around when they talk. People who are genuinely concerned about you and your home. They see what you don’t see, hear what you don’t hear…sometimes.
#11
I have come to learn not to dwell on show of negative attitudes and behaviour exhibited in your home by others. Hurtful sometimes, yes but overlook and focus on the bright side of life. Dwelling on negativity is unhealthy…don’t let anyone rob you of your happiness. It’s yours. Just let go.
#12
I have come to learn to do the right thing.. Sometimes its easy, sometimes its difficult but you still get it done, sometimes you struggle but no matter the situation, you keep making effort to get it right. 
You just keep working.

Let me hear from you.

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken”- Eccl. 4:9-12

"More marriages would survive if the partners realized sometimes the better comes after the worse"- Doug Larson"


Linda Aliogo

Wednesday 1 August 2012

The Power Of Thinking

I was working out one evening and I got thinking. My thoughts were random as I continued jogging. Then, like an electric wave (in my brain) this question pop up

 “If I’m in control of my 24 hours once yearly, what would I do or achieve?”

I stopped jogging and started walking. I was thinking and I could not come up with any answer. It surprised me because I just didn’t know what I could do with such power!

My heart was wondering trying to figure out what the answer was but to no avail. I could not answer this question so I posted it on my status on a social network, there was no answer! I guess people were clueless just like myself. This question kept me thinking for days and weeks.

Finally, after some weeks I was able to get an answer to this question. With this experience, I came to understand why self discovery is difficult and equally important. I also came to understand why certain things like questions in our lives are difficult to explain, describe and answer. I understood that sometimes we have more questions than answers in life. That questions that get you thinking are like paths that lead to discovery (it could be self discovery). This path of discovery leads you to these answers (which may be solutions to challenges in our  lives). That is the power in thinking.

I realized when we give much thought to any question that pose as challenge, we could actually figure out solution to them by thinking through.

This is not the same as worrying. When you are worried, you are not thinking about getting a solution. You are only killing yourself with stress and maybe high blood pressure.

When you think, you want answers. You are focused on the question which may be a challenge in your life. However, when your worry you are not focused on getting answers, rather you are creating more problems. You are complicating the question you are seeking answers to.

We all have some questions yet to be answered. But one thing I learnt from this experience is going the extra-mile in trying to get answers. Tasking our brain just a little more could help!

And the reward – did I tell you how exhilarating it was? It felt real good when I figured out my answer

Believe me, giving just a little more thought to that question or challenge could actually invoke that power of thought that are innately in us. You have that power in you. It is just left for you t reach in deep and tap it. As for the answer to the question, check out my next post

I would be glad if you can share any experience that invoked the power of thinking in you. 

Drop a comment and let’s talk.

"Clear thoughts produce clear results"- Remez Sasson

"I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me"- Phil 4:13

Linda  Aliogo

Wednesday 25 July 2012

My Robbery Experience

This is a short story written by my 9 year-old.. Just wanted to share it with you. I hope you enjoy it. Happy Reading!

One misty morning I decided to go shopping in town to buy new shoes. I couldn't decide which pair of shoes so I waited till I got to the shop.

I got to the shop early enough to see the type of shoes that I liked. It was a pink pair of slippers. As I picked it up, I felt something poke me then I looked at a mirror close to me and saw a tall man standing right behind me.  He began to whisper something to my ear.

He said “Don’t try to get attention lady or else I’ll stab you here and now”. I felt like screaming but obeying him was better than dying.

He said again “pick up that diamond at your left, tuck it in your pocket and leave”. I had no idea that there were cameras surrounding me so as I walked out the door, this loud alarm began to ring and I knew they had caught me because it explained all the securities around me.  I tried to explain to the securities that I was forced and threatened with a knife but they said I could explain everything in court.

 When I arrived at court they asked me so many questions that weren't even meant to be asked in this situation. When I got my chance to talk and explain how everything happened, they asked for proof but I had had no proof. The robber disappeared immediately the alarm rang. I told them so but, nobody believed me.


 So I was sentenced to prison for five years for the stealing of a diamond which I had been forced to steal. As I was still trying to think of proof in my cell on how to get out, the answer hit me! Nobody even thought about this!

 When the alarm in the shop rang, it was because cameras were surrounding me so without those cameras, I would have got away with the diamond and then given it to the thief. But that would have been a crime, I would have been guilty.

Immediately, I told the security walking by the cell passage that I had proof. He took me to the judge. I told the judge that I had proof. I was asked what proof I had. I told the judge and he sent some police back to the shop to check the cameras records. They saw the part where I was threatened by the robber. They immediately went back to court and told the judge everything they had seen.

 The police also told the judge that the robber was released from jail some weeks ago. They quickly traced the robber and arrested him while I gained my freedom!

Oh what a happy day for me. JJ

                                                    Ama-rachi

Friday 20 July 2012

Dealing With A Sick Husband

I am featured as a guest blogger on Unveiled Wife. Here is an excerpt of the article. 
Enjoy!


"Having a beautiful picture of a loving and healthy husband with kids is every woman’s dream.
Sometimes, this perfect family doesn’t always happen exactly the way we wish. This is simply due to the fact that life is always evolving and sometimes we get what we never bargained for. You may be prepared for this if you are already aware of his health concerns before marriage.  However, if it’s a sudden situation, where you never  prepared for this development in regard to his health, it could be one of the most challenging times for everyone."

For the full article, Click Here


Linda Aliogo

Appreciating The Beauty You Are

We live in a world where we now have to think in a certain way. We have to look in a certain way to be accepted as beautiful. We have to have certain parts of our body to be a particular size to be seen as beautiful. We live in a world where this phenomenon has gained a lot of ground, as we helplessly watch!

A world where we are made to feel ugly, sick, angry and insecured just because of our looks. A world where the less natural you are, the better you are accepted as beautiful!
What a world!

I sit and wonder  why how we have allowed ourselves to be so brainwashed by what we see and hear. Why we have allowed our fellow beings to define how we look and what is accepted as ‘beautiful’.

“What is wrong with our natural look?”

You are worried about your face, nose, ears, breasts, stomach, thighs.. You are not happy because you feel you are too short, too tall, too fat or too thin. You hate the stretch marks and cellulites on your body. You feel you are not beautiful because you have been comparing yourself with what is currently regarded as ‘beautiful’ right?


If you are, then it is time to change your mind set.

STOP NOW!

I want you, who is reading this to know that you are beautiful- in every way. Just like all fingers are not equal so also we are diverse in our beauty. Just like the fingers work together to hold any object so also our diverse looks make us who we are, actually unique and beautiful giving a colorful world when we come together too.

There is beauty in diversity. There is strength in unity. Therefore our diversity is actually our strength. We don’t need to change this, rather we need to appreciate and be proud of who we are.. To me that is beauty and being beautiful!

Your shortcomings may be another person’s love, so appreciate who you are and what God has bestowed on you. Be contended, be happy and accept who you are. In other words, be comfortable in your skin and you will eb appreciated.

Exercise, watch what you eat and refuse to compare yourself with any other because you are YOU!  And you are beautiful!

Drop a comment. 

Thanks

“I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it well”- Ps.139:3

“Even the models we see in magazines wish they could look like their own images”- Cheri K. Erdman

Linda Aliogo

Saturday 14 July 2012

Teenage Pregnancy: 7 Things We Are Not Saying

A lot have been written about teenage pregnancy. So my focus right now is what I believe we have not spoken about…well enough. What a a lot of people have not paid attention to as regards this issue. What does not cross your mind immediately?
Well, here they are

Sex Education Is For Boys Too

A lot of focus on the girl-child because she bears the brunt, the pains, blame and of course carry the pregnancy. Parents especially mothers fail to talk to their boys about sex, about abstaining! They concentrate on the girls on how to behave and act before boys but hardly do they tell their boys how to act and treat girls. This is ignored as our boys feel they can have sex anytime.

Due to ignorance, they fail to know that having sex results in pregnancy. That they are equally as guilty as the pregnant girl. If we start educating our boys about this- they are equally guilty as the girl, then it would help to change a certain mind set a s regard teen pregnancy.

Rape Is A Crime- A Violation of the Girl

Pregnancies that resulted from rape have been taken lightly or ignored!  The security agents that are suppose to protect lives and properties do not take this seriously- as part of their job. They do not attach much importance to this type of crime.

The girl is ridiculed, abused and ignored. She carries the pains and shame. The violator is not punished for this offence, as he gains freedom after a while in detention. I just want to ask

When are we going to take rape as a serious crime?Right now, nothing or little is done about this.

He is Equally Guilty As Her

All the blame goes to the girl. She is reminded how she has become loose and wayward! How she has brought shame to the family.

At this stage, I just want to ask if the boy is getting the same treatment like the girl. Both should be treated equally as both of them are guilty. Does it not take two to tangle?

Accepting Responsibility Is Not Assurance For Marriage

The reason some boys deny being responsible is simply because they are not prepared for marriage. They are not yet ready to take up the responsibilities of a husband and a father. They are not yet empowered for this role.

If there are no strings attached in their involvement, they would own up and it would be easier for both families to reach a compromise on what they should do. But if marriage is the only option then, the boy would rather deny than accept responsibility.

I just wish that the families involved should understand this- That its better for an unborn child to have an identity, to know his father rather than to be denied because of the hostile conditions surrounding his conception and later birth.

Furthermore, if they are forced into marriage, what future do they have together at this point in their lives? The two persons involved should be given a second  chance to better their lives and eventually decide if they would want to have a life together or not. It should not be forced on them because whatever the outcome in that marriage, they would always remind you that they were forced into it.

It  Is Not War For Both Families

The deed is done. The two persons involved are going through a lot. This is not the time for both families to throw blame at each other.

“You did not train your daughter well”

“My son is not responsible”

“Your son must marry my daughter”

No, this is not the time. It would not take you anywhere. As long as the two who are involved have acknowledged their actions, then its time to sit down and  discuss on the way forward. The two should be part of the discussion on what they want as regard their situation. They may not exactly know what they want. However, they should be carried along. The discussion should be based on how they can go through this path and get back to improving their lives in order to become responsible. Both family should talk and war.

Emotional Stress of the Girl

She has upsetted her life and others and she’s paying dearly for it. A lot of tears, emotional pains, regrets and fear. She needs to be cancelled and educated on sex again. This time no holds barred. You must know everything and what await her at the end of the pregnancy(giving birth). She has to be prepared; questions regarding that should be answered as candidly as possible.

She should not be ignored or isolated. She should be encouraged about the situation and the lesson learnt.

Getting Back to School

Being pregnant is not end of her goal in life. Having a baby is a thing of joy only that it happened to early and at the wrong time.

Some of the girls do not go back to school because there is no support system at home. So, she has to take care of her baby and herself. She may even live with extended family members after she has been ‘disowned’ and pursued away from home.

What we are not saying enough is that there is life after having a baby. Those dreams and goals can still be achieved if only they get back to school. These girls should be encouraged to do so. They just need to work harder.

Thanks, your comments are welcomed.

“For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God”- 1 Thess.4:3-5 

“Reducing teen pregnancy and birth is one of the most effective ways of reducing child poverty in the country”- Jordan Brown


Linda Aliogo

Saturday 7 July 2012

Sex Education And Our Children

As teens way back then, I remember when  our moms used to tell us that “we should not be close to boys”. That if we do, “we would become pregnant!” I remember how it became a big concern for moms when their daughters start their ‘period’. I remember how they tell us how  to ‘act’ with the boys.

This was many years ago, yet we (now moms) are still doing the same thing with bigger challenges!  Nowadays, because of the kind of exposure our kids have, they are more adventurous!  They go all the way just to experience what they have seen without knowing the huge consequences. While others are not so lucky as they are victims to the evils of today’s society. Most times, these girls get pregnant from first experience- be it rape or incest.

Are we doing enough as moms (parents)?  

Are we listening and watching enough?

 Is there something we are not getting or doing right?

Now moms, how many of us have brought up and discussed issues regarding sex and teen pregnancy to our 10 year olds?

You may ask me “10 year-olds? They are still young!”

I want to ask you, have you really looked at 10 year-olds of today?

Have you seen how matured they look and act (already having breasts!)?

With the constant exposure to media, do you know what they know?
If you can answer these questions, would you say they are very young to be educated about sex and teen pregnancy?

Well, I don’t think so as this depends on where you start the conversation and what you tell them. Here is my approach, you initiate the conversation and then allow them to speak, You LISTEN attentively!  You do not interrupt them; you ask questions and allow them to explain.

You must be ready to absorb any shock or revelation in other to make them open up. If not, they may withdraw into their shells and keep all they know inside. That is not what we want to achieve or is it?

After all said and done by them, you begin to educate; correcting wrong answers, impressions. Encourage them to ask questions depending on age, give appropriate answers. Use, the right terms for the reproductive parts. Do not use ‘baby language’. Call as appropriate and keep a normal expression.

Encourage them to seek opinions, answers and advice on any aspect of sex and teen pregnancy especially after a conversation with their age-mates and friends. This is so important as most wrong information and impression start within their age group.

Also, start preparing your girl for her first menstrual experience. Buy books that discuss such issues, give moral and spiritual advice too. Talk to her and demonstrate accordingly.Tell the boys just as the girls, why it’s important to wait before dating.

Mind you, the discussion is continuous and can start just about anytime they are curious or have heard or seen anything that got them thinking!  Try to LISTEN and be there for them; don’t shove them away because you are busy. You may not get another opportunity to correct any wrong impression! No matter what you are doing, when it comes to this type of issue, give a listening ear and give appropriate answers.

Let’s not shy away from this because the consequence maybe too heavy for us to bear if there is any mistake. Let’s start the conversation. Let’s start educating our children. As you know, “knowledge is power”.

Tell parents about this blog  by sharing this post, thanks.

"For this is the will of God, your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication. That everyone of you should know hoe to posses his vessel in sanctification and honour"- 1 Thess.4:3-4

"I think sex education should include enhancing a girl's sexual self-image and self-esteem and give her the tools to say 'no' and ultimately 'yes' when the time is right"- Anita H. Clayton


                                   Linda Aliogo

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