Wednesday 8 August 2012

12 Lessons I Have Learned In Marriage

Marriage is an institution where two persons agree to share their lives together…hopefully forever.  Being married for a while now, these are lessons I have learned so far in this journey.
I have come to learn that marriage is a journey that requires a lot of patience…lots of it! The older the marriage, the more patient you become. Not born with this- patience, but it one thing I have come to know you cannot do without.
I have come to learn to give and let go… As a single person, there were certain beliefs and ideas I lived with. But with marriage, I have to come to realize that things did not fit into my marriage, I had to take the ultimate decision of letting them go. The picture of my marriage as a single person does not necessarily agree with my reality, now that I am married, they are quite different.
I have come to learn that I have my roles- wife and mother. These roles are tasking and serious if you really want to be successful.
I have come to learn you cannot have your way all the time… Sometimes, you need to be silent to achieve your result. You need to let him lead the way for you to finally get your way.
I have to learn and know proving your points all the time does not do much. Rather, it leads to complications, lots of argument and waste of energy and time.
I have come to learn and know that appearance matters, food matters and sex. Make effort in these three areas.
I have come to learn and know that prayer is essential and it works! Pray about anything and everything and you would notice changes.
I have come to learn and know he is also my son and not only a husband and a father.
I have come to learn and know every marriage is unique; hence what works for me may not be acceptable in another marriage. I realized that based on this, you cannot necessarily judge but respect that marriage. Also try to learn something.
I have come to know that you cannot lean only on your understanding. You have to listen to people around when they talk. People who are genuinely concerned about you and your home. They see what you don’t see, hear what you don’t hear…sometimes.
I have come to learn not to dwell on show of negative attitudes and behaviour exhibited in your home by others. Hurtful sometimes, yes but overlook and focus on the bright side of life. Dwelling on negativity is unhealthy…don’t let anyone rob you of your happiness. It’s yours. Just let go.
I have come to learn to do the right thing.. Sometimes its easy, sometimes its difficult but you still get it done, sometimes you struggle but no matter the situation, you keep making effort to get it right. 
You just keep working.

Let me hear from you.

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken”- Eccl. 4:9-12

"More marriages would survive if the partners realized sometimes the better comes after the worse"- Doug Larson"

Linda Aliogo

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