Well you may wonder what I am talking about.
I am talking about friends and having
friends after marriage. I am talking about loneliness and isolation in
marriage.
We all have heard about this - “Now
you are a married woman, just mind your home, take it easy on friends”
We listen to this advice and do reduce
our social activities and cut down the number of friends we actually have. We
may even go further to cut them off completely believing now we are married, we
no longer have anything in common especially with the unmarried ones.
For the few ones we may likely keep,
we may not be as open as we used to be. We keep our problems to ourselves
simply because of the fear of telling it to the “wrong ears”.
Here, we no longer have close friends
but just acquaintances.
What am I driving at?
This is it. Do you realize there are a
lot of lonely, isolated wives out there yearning for somebody they can talk to
honestly and openly without having the fear of being misinterpreted,
misunderstood or betrayed?
There are a lot of wives that have
been tagged to be ‘proud’ but they are only trying to keep to themselves
because of the ‘advice’ given to them. They are called ‘snobs’ because they do
not really have friends! Friends that are true; they can socialize and talk
honestly with.
I know you may say “ the world has
changed, you can’t trust anyone but yourself”
“The world has become evil and the
heart of man is wicked”
Yes, I totally agree with you. But do
these reasons help to solve the problems of isolation and loneliness in
marriage encountered by wives? You may
argue that once you have kids, you would be busy hence you won’t have time for friends.
But do you know that is not true! The
truth is when you eventually have kids (or no kids) , you must have challenges,
when you have challenges, you seek for help!
And who do you look up to? Your answer
is most likely to be God, family and…
did I hear you say friends?
Our husbands can be our friends but they
cannot be our only friends. They cannot fill that void a friend would. We still
need our female companionship. There may be some people we admire and like to
be friends with but the question is
Are they ready to be friends with
you? Do they have the same ‘advice’
(ringing alarm at the back of their heads) as you?
What is my point, my message?
Well, this is it again. There are a
lot of wives out there who are going through a lot of emotional issues but
nobody knows! Nobody knows because there is no one to talk to! There may be deeper issues these wives are
suffering alone and there is no one to share them with.
I am drawing attention to this because
we wives don’t even talk about it! We pretend all is perfect and happy with us,
which is not true!
However, if we can genuinely extend a
hand of friendship to one of us ( a wife like you too!), be patient to grow and
nurture such relationship, I think we would have touched a life in a positive
way. We would be having a fulfilling friendship enriching each other’s lives
through such friendship.
Also for wives who have been extended
a friendship request, please access and then oblige as deem fit because you
never succeed until you try!
We should also pray about it. To have
a good marriage and be a true friend to a fellow wife like you. We don’t need
so many friends but just a few who would support and touch our lives and
marriage positively. Just as we pray for a good husband, let’s also pray for
good friends and let’s be one.
Let’s support ourselves for once!
Let me know what you think. Also share
this with wives out there.
“I will not leave you comfortless, I
will come to you”- John 14:18
“It is easy to love the people far
away. It is not always to love those close to us. It is easier to give a cup of
rice to relieve hunger than to relieve the loneliness and pain of some one
unloved…”- Mother Teresa of Calcutta
Linda
Aliogo
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