Wednesday 16 May 2012

You, Your Actions and Your Wife

They say, “Action speaks louder than voice” and it is true. Your actions can generate and cause a lot of positive and negative things just like your words. Your action as a husband can be encouraging, loving, caring and supportive. It can also be discouraging, wicked, painful and abusive.

When your action as a husband becomes abusive, then there is a problem!
Why would you act in such a way?
Why would you beat up your wife?
Why would you be impatient, irrational, and angry for any and every mistake your wife makes?
Why would you turn your home to a fighting arena?
Does your a wife action or behaviour warrant such abuse?
Do you think by beating her, she would listen to you and change?
Have you examined yourself to know why she acts the way she does?

Too many questions, right?  But, you need to think and ask many questions to understand why you fight?

I just want to know if there is any marriage where beating has changed a wife positively. Are there any testimonies?  Is there any husband who has publicly acknowledged beating up his wife and was celebrated?  If there is, then I would like to know the details.

Listen husbands, getting your wife to listen and be submissive to you is not achieved through this means. Just because you are physically stronger doesn’t give you the right to turn her to your punching bag. We have heard and seen ugly situations regarding this action.

Come on husbands! There are better ways to handle issues. If she is stubborn and doesn’t listen to you, then you need to know how to handle the situation. So, what do you do?
“How can I get her to listen without beating her?” you may ask.
I would say “Go back to genesis”. Go back to the beginning of your relationship, before you decided to tie the knots. How were you resolving and managing your differences? What was the strategy being used? I believe that strategy can still be used now you are married.

You must talk, talk, talk and talk. Communication is key. Instead of using your fists, go out of the scene to cool off. This would give both of you time to evaluate the issue on ground.

Both of you must want the marriage to work, because if you do, then you must agree to find solution to your disagreements. A lot of sacrifices and compromise come from the wife. You, as the husband must sacrifice and compromise too!  Marriage is all about giving in other to receive. You should be considerate and learn to ‘feel’, be sensitive, listen when she pours her heart to you. LISTEN.

Take time to take her out with the children- enjoy family time, appreciate and complement her appearance and efforts. Love her and show her respect. If you try to do all or even some of these tips, you won’t need to use your fists again!  She would listen and be submissive.

Remember, your wife is not your slave, she is your partner, she is part of you and you should treat her with kindness and tenderness.

“She is troublesome, she would not appreciate all these” you may say.
Then I want to ask why  did you chose to marry her. As adults, we are responsible for our decisions. Well, those reasons are not so important right now. What is important is how to keep your fists off her!   How to get the best out of the marriage. 

I just want to encourage you to be hopeful and try out the tips mentioned above and see what happens. Pray always about your marriage and God would restore it. I would love to  hear how you manage your disagreements.

More tips, I would say.

Tell someone about this blog, thanks.

"You husbands must be careful of your wives, being thoughtful of their needs and honoring them as the weaker sex. Remember that you and your wife are partners in receiving God's blessings, and if you don't treat her as you should, your prayers will not get ready answers."  1st Peter 3:7.

"A successful and lasting marriage will always be a triangle. It will involve a woman, a man and God"- Daniel Akin

Linda Aliogo

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