Tuesday, 21 February 2012

Being Stubborn: How To Tackle Tough Situations

I want to talk about being unwilling to give up about anything you consider important to you. Personally, I have been stubborn about many things ordinarily that I would have given up. For each incident that I persisted, I succeeded, for instance the delivery of my last child whom I had when I was just six and half months pregnant- I was stubborn and I succeeded.

 What I am trying to say is that it’s a lot of hard work to believe and remain in a situation that fails or yield little or no result. A situation you are most times not in control. What keeps you there is your persistence – stubbornness!

 How then do you succeed in tough situations?  How do you remain stubborn or persistent? Here are some of my tips:

Take a decision
When in a difficult situation, you do have to take a stand. You must make up your mind on what you want to achieve in that situation. Mind you, then it may take days, weeks, months or even years, whatever time it takes, you must take your stand.

Be persistent
In one of my personal experiences, I was persistent in asking the nurse about the state of my baby, that actually led to her survival and being alive today! (That story is another post).
Just continue, it may not be as fast or regular as it was at the beginning, but keep on and keep going!

Get Closer to your Creator
There maybe times that you are really down and almost out but, if you are close to HIM and draw strength from HIM you will be replenished. Express yourself and talk to Him often (PRAYERS).This encourages and strenghtens you.

Be Organized
Know your priorities. Put then in order of importance. Talk to people who are role models and inspirational to you.  Sometimes you do need to take your time and give yourself a break if the need arises. This does not mean you have abandoned or ended the pursuit or even given up rather, it is to re-energize, re-strategize and continue the pursuit of that situation or dream until you reach your goal.

Be Prepared for Criticisms
There will be a lot of discouragement and negativities around, but you know what you want and where you want to go. Take them in your strides and keep moving.  These are obstacles you must encounter to get better in your pursuit. Do not let them weigh you down, rather see them as stepping stones to greater heights, reaching your goals.

This is a trying time, when you are likely to neglect yourself. If you do, this would not in any way alleviate or change the situation automatically rather it can aggravate and discourage you further.
Therefore it is important you do take care of yourself. Rest when you need it, sleep at the appropriate time. Eat properly. Just live your life and do not allow the situation to weigh you down so much that you cannot function. Laugh and take things easy. Remember the world has not come to an end yet.

I would love to hear from you too.

Cheers!

“No temptation that has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and He would not allow you to be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation He would also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it”- 1st Cor. 10:13

“Challenges make you discover things about yourself that you never really knew. They are what make the instrument stretch-what make you go beyond the norm” –Cicely Tyson

                        
                                                 
                                                          Linda Aliogo

Friday, 17 February 2012

FRIENDS

Friends. Friendship. What does it mean to us? Having friends is so easy these days! Friends are made virtually anywhere and everywhere.
Who are your friends?   What type of friend are you?

There are many
They are different in many ways
They are scattered in different places
They are your Friends

They are short, tall, fat, slim
They speak English, Yoruba, Ika, Hausa, Ibo
They are clever, loud, shy ,foolish
They are your Friends

They are genuinely happy when you are
They are genuinely sad when you are
They weep when you are
They laugh when you are
They are comfortable when you are
They are your Friends

They are happy when you are not
They are not happy when you are
They are not comfortable when you are
They are comfortable when you are not
They are your Friends


They reach out as if they care
They hope the situation gets worse
They preach peace when they mean war
They lead you to path of destruction
They are your Friends

They stick to you through thick and thin
They are closer to you than blood
They reach out for they really care
They are with you at every stage of life
They have been tested and trusted over time
They are your Friends

They are rare and few
They are reliable and genuine
They are here to stay
They are True friends

They are temporal and everywhere
They are around for personal interest
They come and go
They are Fake friends

They are two kinds
They are True
They are Fake
What kind are you

Celebrate a true friend today and please share this with loved ones.

Thanks again for your time.

“Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend” –Prov. 27:17

“A  friend is one before whom I may think aloud”- Ralp Waldo Emerson


Linda Aliogo

Thursday, 9 February 2012

7 Popular Issues and Solutions in Marriage

This is the time you start noticing those things you did not during courtship. You are now living together in the same house, probably sharing the same bedroom. You see yourselves more often than before – during courtship.
Then, the issues start creeping out from the closets one after the other!

Now let’s start talking.

#1
Why do I need to keep the bedroom tidy ALL THE TIME? How about HIM? You try to arrange the bedroom like when you where single (clean).
 then, like a flash, he is back, the shoes are in the sitting room, the briefcase is on the bed, the clothes are scattered everywhere in the room! 
Just like yesterday, last week or even last month! You remind him that you just finished arranging the room… He says sorry and still leave the clothes  and the shoes there!

Solution and Managing Strategy
Most men generally are not good with housekeeping. This is a fact you must bitterly accept if you do not want to run high blood pressure. ACCEPT this, and learn to manage by taking it as part of the marriage life and lesson.
You can tell him about it, trust me, it would just be a matter of time, it would repeat again. This goes with the toilet seats, car keys, handsets, wallets, documents…

#2
Why should I prepare his meals when we have a cook, house help? What is the big deal in cooking or serving his meals? After all, you are equally spent and tired like him after the office hours. You get home late and leave home early too like him!

Solution and Managing Strategy
He may understand at the beginning of the marriage. however, if it becomes the norm in the home ( depending  the type of husband), he may complain, stop eating at home, start keeping longer hours outside or just remain silent!

You should read the signs! It means either he is missing that part of you or he is not!
If you hear the complains, then that is good for you, it means you need to change your position before it gets out of hands but if you do not, then…

He relates to the house help more about his upkeep than yourself. Then why are you there in the first place! If he continues to get all he needs from the house help, then he doesn’t miss your absence from home!

This development may not mean anything to you but trust me, if you do not wage in, it can escalate into something you may not like.

No matter how busy, as a wife, create time to cook and serve your husband personally! 

Prepare his favourite meals and freeze if you do not have time to cook often. Serve his meals as regular as possible. If you do have a cook, try to supervise and see that things are done properly.
I
t may or may not be perfect, let him see your effort and interest. He does notice and yes, it does matters!

#3
Why should I be a housewife? I am a graduate so, why should I stay at home and not work?
In your university days, you must have ‘built’ your dream home, job, husband… we all did and still do.

You have achieved all except working!   Why?

Simple, he doesn’t want you to work! He prefers you to be at home to take care of the kids and of course him!

Solution and Managing Strategy
The first way to manage this is to settle down in your home and enjoy it…enjoy it?  You may ask?

Yes , I said enjoy it. If you do have kids, take care of them properly. Attend to your husband needs. If you do satisfy all these then, you can bring up the issue of working again.

Tell him why you need to work, let him understand it isn’t the money rather, the fulfillment. How it would make you feel accomplished and happy! Let him understand that you would be happier and this would rub off positively on him and the kids..the entire family!

Let him know when you feel better about yourself, you can equally perform better in your duties as wife and mother.

Plead with him and do make sure you have a plan on what to embark on. Be patient and pray about it.

#4
You have added some weight and have unsuccessfully tried to lose it. Why should he be complaining? After all, both of you are in the same boat. He is even heavier than you, so why is he talking?

Solution and Management Strategy
Over time, with children, you tend to add weight. You have bulges here and there, you may have been a size 6 or 8 before having kids but now, you are a size 16.

This may not be peculiar to only you but also your husband has changed and gained weight!  

So why is he complaining you may wonder!

You may justify your weight gain… yes, having children.  Does it mean you do not care about what he says or thinks?

The TRUTH is YOU are not happy with your look! You do wish to look the way you did before having kids! You know what he is saying is true but do not want to accept it! You are trying to justify….nothing!

Do not give reasons or excuses. Its either you want to lose weight for yourself and feel better about how you feel or not! You may also have noticed the health issues creeping in due to the weight gain.

If you make genuine effort and do it for yourself, I bet your husband would be motivated and come around to join you!

Love yourself to leave a healthy life. Its possible. Do not wallow in self pity and senseless arguments (jealous) with your husband when he looks at a slimmer woman  rather, get to work and regain your confidence!

#5
Why should I have my in-laws around? Do I have to be nice to them? Why should I care?

Solution and Managing Strategy
Remember the day you took your vows, you promised to adhere?  Marriage does not revolve around you and your husband (in the african context). You are married entirely to the whole family!

“Give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar and to God what belongs to God” You must have heard about this Biblical quotation as it is applicable to this situation. Give to them what is due with all honest and leave the rest to God.

Truly make genuine effort to accept your husband’s family and I believe it would be reciprocal ( even if it’s not reciprocal, just do your part). I do agree there maybe occasions when this suggestion backfires but if you do not try, how would you know?

Give room for your mother-in-law as appropriate. It is difficult for some mothers to let go off their sons. They feel like they have lost their sons forever. You may not understand this feelings until you have children. Be patient with them.

Liase with a couple who have been successfully married for many years and let them give words of advice as time goes on.

Pray for difficult in-laws and relatives and learn to take your stand when necessary. You need a lot of wisdom and understanding here.

#6
We are rich and comfortable. We can afford the latest car, so why not? Why can’t we travel abroad for vacation? We can afford it now! You do not understand why he should invest now. 

You have been looking forward to a trip abroad, you have discussed it and agreed it would be your next investment, then now…

The opportunity pops up, he says he would rather invest the money than travel abroad! You do want a new car, he would rather invest on land or property!

It sounds ridiculous! And you do not understand or rather would not understand!

Solution and Managing Strategy
Relax!  Chill!  Cool down!
Do you want to cry your eyes out? Do you want to shout down the roofs? Do you want to keep malice till God-know-when? Or do you want to fight?
R.E.L.A.X.!!!     Ok?
There is a way out. Calm down. Take some time off from this discussion. Focus on other things. Do not bring up this until you are totally calm.

Seat down and reflect….seriously on his stand. Is he right?  What are the reasons?   Are they really for the benefits of the family?   Which is more important now, luxury or investment?

Be honest with yourself about the answers you come up with. However, if you do not still have answers, then ask him calmly and listen patiently to his answers.
Whatever, the outcome, put it in prayers.

#7
Why should I not keep so many friends like I want and hang out with them when and how I like? Why should I always ask or discuss before I do things?

You have always taken decisions until you got married (excellent decisions anyway). You got out and visit as you like. You hang out with friends anytime.

Now you are asked to consult, discuss your decisions. You do not want to take ‘permission’ after all you are an adult, right?

Solution and Managing Strategy
You are married now and no longer single! There’s a huge difference. You have a partner and you must be considerate in your actions now.

Let him know what you want to do, carry him along and inform of your thoughts before they become decisions. He would also carry you along. Learn to listen to what he has to say.

Mind your social activities, as things have changed. Know there are many sheep in wolves skin or clothing. It’s not all your friends that are happy for you or your married status. Be wise and pick your friends from now.

Really listen to him and try to balance things.

Thanks for reading (quite long, I know).

Give out beautiful jewelries to your loved ones today. Kindly check out my website.

“A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ comes together. It’s when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences” –Dave Meurer

“Let all  bitterness, wrath,and anger and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And ye be kind to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you”-Eph. 4:31-32

Linda Aliogo

Sunday, 5 February 2012

Karat-Gold vs Gold-Filled Jewelry.

I was telling a family friend about my jewelry website, when I referred to the set I had on (which was designed with 14K gold-filled wire). She looked at it and wanted to know how many karate it was. I told her it was 14K gold-filled and immediately I noticed the change in her eyes. She did not seem interested anymore, I knew I had to say something…

Let her know the value and beauty of gold-filled...gold-filled jewelry.

This is why I want to talk about karate and gold-filled. I have realized before entering the jewelry business, that people do not really appreciate gold-filled ( in Nigeria). Any gold jewelry without karat-gold rating is not considered as good quality. Even If you mention 14K, 10K, they tend to lose interest in jewelry giving reasons why they don’t want it.

Why?  Simply because the karat-gold rating is not 18. Most women,(Nigeria) prefer 18K-gold or more!

However, with the cost of gold rising continuously, it’s important to get value for your money when buying things especially jewelries. A lot of people love quality and expensive jewelries that come with karat-gold but, can they afford it?

With gold-filled  jewelry, you can get the look for less and also have quality jewelries.
So, what is the difference?

Karat-gold Jewelry
The jewelries are graded according to the number attached to the gold. The higher the number the higher the amount of gold and of course the more expensive.

Now, karat-gold is strictly measured in units of 24.  The karat weight of gold is measured by the gold’s purity while the alloy is the other types of elements added to the pure gold. Each of the numbers does represent the amount of pure gold in the jewelry.

Therefore 24 karat-gold is PURE gold. (100% gold)
10 karat-gold = 10 parts gold + 14 parts alloy (41.6% gold)
14 karat-gold = 14 parts + 10 parts alloy (50% gold)
18 karat-gold = 18 parts + 6 parts alloy (75% gold)
22 karat-gold = 22 parts + 2 parts alloys (91.7% gold)
24 karat-gold = All parts gold

The most common alloys used are copper, nickel and silver.

Gold-filled Jewelry
Gold-filled is made out of solid layer of gold bounded to the outer layer of a metal. This depends on the karat-gold used to fill or cover the metal. This means it could be 18K, 14K, or 10K gold used. As I earlier mentioned,, the higher the karat-gold, the more expensive.

Gold-filled jewelry can last for years (unlike gold plated jewelry). The amount of gold on gold-filled is approximately 100times thicker than gold plated. (Just want to let you also know the difference between gold plated and gold-filled).

 Its interesting to have gold jewelry that lasts for years for just a fraction of the cost. For those who can afford the karat-gold, all too good for you!  However, for a lot of people, karat-gold is simply too expensive so, they go for more affordable gold-filled jewelry which gives a similar look to karat-gold for a reasonable price. Whatever type of jewelry you decide to get, you are not losing out either way

I hope I have been able to clarify the whole confusion and misconception of karat-gold and gold-filled jewelry..

Please let me know if this is helpful.
t to let you know, the lady that inspired me to write this picked  from my collections!
"One's first step in wisdom is to question everything and one's last is to come to terms with everything" - George Christopher Lichtenberg


Linda Aliogo


      

Wednesday, 1 February 2012

How to Get Rid of Ugly Shaving/Wax Bumps

Shaving is the removal of hair from the surface of the body. This could be from the head, face, under arms and the body. When shaving, the hair removed is not from the root however, this is different from waxing. Waxing is the removal of hair from the roots. Hair removed through waxing takes longer to grow back when compared to shaving which is short-lived.

People shave or wax for personal reasons. This can be achieved by using shaving blades, shaving creams or depilatory creams and wax. Wax comes in various colours and types.

If you remove hair from the body like I do then you must have experienced some challenges. I am blessed with a lot of hair! So when I eventually started removing hair from my body, I experimented with different methods.

I started with shaving sticks. I used this mostly for my under arms and I did experience those pimple-like bumps a few days after shaving. Then, there comes the itching as the hair began to grow. I also noticed that the hair actually grew very fast. In fact within a week or less, I would have to shave again.

I experimented with waxing. This was when I knew there are different types of wax (tea tree, honey, sugar, etc) and you need to use the one that is suitable for your skin type. I tried tea tree wax (full body wax) and within some days it looked like I had measles!  or cold bumps to say it mildly! Every part of my body was filled with bumps. I must tell you, I was very unhappy with the situation…not to talk about the itching that followed.

The bumps were big and so disgusting. I continued to bear this ‘torture’, hoping to get a solution. The solution did not come any soon and my husband was complaining. He didn’t understand why I have to put myself through this. I could not wear shorts or knee-length skirts or dresses. It was that bad for me!

I stopped waxing for a while and decided to try depilatory creams. It worked very well however, it was only removing hair from the surface, and the effects were short-lived like shaving blades. The bumps reappeared!  though not as bad as the waxing.

I kept using the depilatory cream for months … hoping that my skin would adjust. There was very little improvement.

The bumps just stayed where they were!

I was given up on removing hair from my body. I felt shaving or waxing was not meant for everybody. And the options left for me were electrolysis and laser hair removal. That is If I really need to go that extent!

Once in a while, I would shave my legs if I do have to wear a dress, shave my underarms if I’m wearing a sleeveless. I wanted to have a smooth hairless body but, it was not working for me.I kept looking for what would stop the bumps.
Then one day, I got it!
Not been skeptical, I decided to go ahead to shave again and try out my new solution. I removed all the hair on my body and used my new solution and waited…
I kept using this and I noticed the itching that comes with shaving minimized! It was a pleasant surprise! It was soothing and highly moisturizing that I don’t have to use any other body cream. The skin was smoother and for the first time since I was shaving, the bumps did appear but they were minimal!
 The more I applied this natural moisturizer, the less the bumps, they kept disappearing! right now, I am bumpless (if there is any word like that) and I do have very smooth skin. I have actually swapped my body cream with this moisturizer! I am totally happy and excited with the way my skin feels, thanks to this…
I bet you are dying to know this natural moisturizer! If you have experienced shaving bumps you would understand what I am saying! This can be used for other things.
 Ok, enough of the suspense!
The moisturizer is pure, natural Shea butter! One of my beauty secrets I am sharing with you.
This is applied immediately after shaving. So it doubles as my moisturizer and protector from bumps. Please know most of the shea butter out in the markets is not pure (100%). Of course if its not pure shea butter, the benefits would be adulterated hence would not actually work the way it should!
 So do make sure that it is pure and all natural and not the refined type or the one mixed with other things.
This also works for men who experience bumps on their faces, hair when they shave.  I would be writing about the numerous benefits of shea butter soon…just watch out!
If you are interested in pure shea butter please e-mail me.
If this is useful, please tell your family and friends about this blog.
Thank you again.
"But thanks to God, which giveth the victory through our Lord Jesus" -1st cor. 15:57 
"To succeed, you must first improve,to improve you must first practice, to practice, you must first learn and to learn you must first fail" -Wesley Woo                            
                                    Aliogo Linda
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