Thursday, 24 November 2011

Late Night Husbands: How to Cope

It’s about 11pm and you are curled up on the sofa watching the T.V. The children are already in bed and you are alone wondering what is keeping your husband out late. You used to call him when it’s about 9pm to remind him he should be on his way home. You used to get angry and sometimes talk to him when he calls he would be late.


You used to ‘lecture’ to him why he should be home earlier than he normally is and the implication of staying out late. You used to go to bed even when he is not back and decide to ignore any explanation or discussion with him. Sometimes you wonder how and why things have remained unchanged even with you talking.

This is a common issue in most homes. This is even more common with people who work in banks, run private businesses, night clubs, hotels, resorts etc. your husband may not belong to this category  of  people  but actually keeps late night.

So how do you manage late night husbands and keep peace with yourself and the home. Here are some tips:

Nature of profession
Understanding the nature of your husband’s job would help to manage this situation. For instance bankers generally keep late due to the nature of the job. Sometimes this maybe an excuse to keep late but always give that benefit of doubt. Hotel or Night club owners are more active at night. So as a wife, what do you do? How do you cope? How do you manage this? You have to learn to sacrifice and be positive about it. If the income is rolling in and your husband is really responsible, doing what is expected of him, then you must be appreciative and know that nothing good comes easy. You must pay a price at one time or the other. However, the comforting part is it would not be permanent. It would be for a while.

Work at Home
Encourage your husband to bring any extra-work from the office to finish at home. For instance if he has may unread e-mails, encourage him to do the work at home as long as there is access to internet. Assist in any way you can.

Comfortable and Conducive Environment     
The home must be conducive and comfortable for him to want to come home. The house clean, dinner ready and time to actually do his work if he eventually decides to come home to complete it.

Communication
There must be a level of understanding between you two. Talk and express your concerns in as much as you want to ignore use the silence treatment. As this would lead to deeper misunderstanding hence cause more friction between you? Just talk once more, mean talk and not NAG. You should know the difference by now. Tell him and make him understand how you feel without drama.

Get Busy
Keep yourself busy with things you enjoy. Reading, writing, surfing internet, listening to music, etc. get busy during the day and do things that you love. I bet you, by the time its getting late, you are ready to go to bed rather than pose for an argument or fight.

Go out Together
Go out for dinner, go out alone and leave the kids. This helps you to bond better and talk in a more relaxed atmosphere. This can be regular weekly, monthly or bi-monthly depending on the available time.

Pray
Pray, pray, pray and pray without ceasing. There is nothing beyond God. Hand every situation to Him. You can never go wrong with prayers.

I would love to know how you cope.

“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths” –Prov. 3: 5-6  

“You don’t make progress by standing on the sidelines whimpering and complaining. You make progress by implementing ideas.” –Shirley Hufsteddler
                                                                            
                                                   Linda Aliogo

2 comments:

  1. When I was married with the custom differences. When I would go to work and then come home I would be accused of cheating and then I would be advised to quite my job.

    My ex never believed that the woman should be outside the house working. His custom the woman should stay home berafoot and pregnant.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is why its very important to discuss in details before marriage. Every marriage is unique in the sense that both parties must agree or come to terms of agreement before it works! A situation where there is disagreement, then there is a problem! and when there is a problem, do not overlook it and jump into marriage, sought it out FIRST!

      Some husbands want their wives to stay at home while others don't mind if she is working. Thanks Vanessa for sharing your experience with us and I wish you all the best!

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