Tuesday, 28 June 2011

Handling Relationship Discussion with Your Daughter

Being blessed with a baby girl is very exciting and rewarding. First, she has all the girly and fanciful stuffs that you can lay your hands on. You know girly stuffs are very attractive and beautiful. You don’t seem to get enough of them. You keep buying! and buying! not realizing you have earlier purchased that exact stuff. You know the pretty stuffs I am talking about, hair accessories, dresses, shoes, pinky socks…

Then within a twinkle of an eye, your little girl blossoms like a beautiful flower. You start realizing, that she is growing up, paying more attention to herself. The breasts develop and you start worrying about the attention she is getting.

You realize that you have to start TALKING!  But  WhatHowWhen?
You become clueless and then turn to God and start praying He should put the right words in your mouth.

She starts asking questions about her body and boys and RELATIONSHIPS. You start thinking and want to figure out how to start the conversation. You ask yourself what is too detailed or what is not enough (that is, how and where to draw the line).

I hope I am communicating? You now know is either you speak out or “forever remain silent”.
I must tell you that you are not alone. I would tell you what actually worked and is working for me.

Being Comfortable
You should try to be comfortable with yourself and honestly, I did pray a lot about it before now. Make yourself comfortable and then her.

Pick the Right Time
It could be when you are having a conversation about school, her friends or hobbies. When cooking in the kitchen or watching T.V. A time, you are both relaxed.

Be Connected
There must be that connection between you. I mean that mother-daughter bond. This is made possible by listening to her, all the time, and encouragement in every aspect. You must have such a bond that she tells you everything. She is OPEN to you. She should be able to trust you and your judgment.

Observe and educate
“Teach a child the way she should grow and when she grows up she will never depart from it.” Learn to observe closely her actions and activities and use them to educate her as experience is not always the best teacher in this case.

Pray in advance. It doesn’t stop that awkward feeling and anxiety, but it does help to give a smooth sail. Your experience may be different. You must also point your child to God as “He is the Way, the Truth and the Light.”

“Where no counsel is, the people fail, but in the multitude of counselors there is safety –Prov 11:14 “
“Many receive advice, only the wise profit from it –Pubilius Syrus”

Talk to  you later and thanks for your time.

 Linda Aliogo

Thursday, 9 June 2011


Life is too short. A poem that talks about the relationship between my father and I. Gives an insight of dealing with the loss of a loved one and the importance of achieving what you set to do regarding your relationship with your family or loved ones.

We were supposed to visit him
He was supposed to  confide in me ,tell and show me things
But I thought I had time as one thing led to the other

He was to pay a visit to my aboard
He spoke to the children sometimes
He always expressed warmth and nice presence as he meant it
He never complained
Based on that I thought I had time

I was building a bridge of friendship
I was building a bridge of a father he always expressed
Though it was slow, it was gradually steady and catching up indeed
I thought I had time

Though so much was not spoken or understood
The feelings were there, strong
I was confident he had time but never knew I was wrong
As the master of time has its own will
I never spent so much time with him
He never did too

I planned to make up some how
He never complained
He never faulted anybody
He did reach out the way he knew
I thought I had time

He was simple and easy going
He loved and mixed up with all
He was encouraging the way he knew
I wanted to get closer and understand him better
I had   plans for him
I wanted to do more for him
I thought I had time

Spoke to him on Saturday
Got a message on Monday
He was gone hours later
I never expected it soon
I thought I had time

Would miss his simplicity
Would miss those calls-conversations
Would miss his voice
Would miss that part of me
I thought I had time

 May he rest in the Lord’s bosom
I want him to know he is a part of me
I miss him my own way
I never knew I had no time
I thought I had time

T.N.  Okereke (Dr.)
( 1941- 2011)

“For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth nor any other creature shall be able to separate us from the love of GOD, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord" -Romans 8: 38-39

“Learn as if you were going to live forever. Live as if you were going to die tomorrow" – Mahatm Gandhi 
                                                       Linda Aliogo                                                         

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